Sometimes when I feel fat…

Thank God for husbands who are able to help wives keep perspective in an body-image-crazy world.

I especially love my husband because he thinks that the ‘Yummy Mummy’ craze is just plain ridiculous. And he would take the pains to highlight why to me. And he did it even before he would see his own wife begin to balloon with a baby.

Yesterday was the first time in this pregnancy I actually started feeling fat. When I told him so, he so very sincerely and sweetly said, “You’re not fat. You’re pregnant and you’re lovely.” Aww…

I love him so. We both can’t wait to meet each other next Friday in Macau. It would have been 3 months since we last saw each other. I could never imagine a guy being so excited about his wife putting on pounds and looking rounder. But well, I know my husband isn’t just any guy so that is why he is so eager to see my baby belly.

Thank you Father for my wonderful husband!

Bless You, Our Little Marvel

A baby is God’s opinion that the world should go on.

Never will a time come when the most marvellous recent invention

is as marvellous as a newborn baby.

Carl Sandburg (1878 – 1967)

To our dearest baby,

Though we cannot see you nor hold you just yet,

we know you are beautiful and wonderful.

You are growing more and more incredible

with every passing day.

As God’s hands ever so delicately shape you,

we know you are just simply perfect –

in form, stature and spirit.

God spoke His Word and you were formed.

His Word will continue to give strength

to your tender flesh,

and breathe health into your bones.

Little one, though you are still tiny,

you already have a big destiny.

Something God has determined that

no one else but you are able to fulfil.

Even now as you are living in my womb,

your destiny is already unfolding,

and your wisdom in the ways of God growing.

For it is His very life that flows in you.

Your daddy and I cannot wait to hold you,

and help you live the life God has in store for.

But as we wait, we are praying for you

Each and every day.

So until we have you in our arms,

we want you to know that you are already in our hearts.

We love you, precious little one.

We cannot wait to welcome you into our home.

With lots of love,

Your mummy

In Love with You

Last Sunday, I was feeling just so ‘nuah’ after a week of house arrest. Though I had enough sleep the entire week, I just couldn’t get myself in time for church and it was the 5pm service. Talk about sloth.

Nonetheless, I managed to get there just as worship was ending and (gasp!) I realised I had missed out on Bob Fitts’ leading worship. I do not idolise him but I cannot deny that he is my all-time favourite worship leader. No! It is not because of his good looks. But yes, he is good looking. Rather, there is always this wonderfully sweet anointing on him each time he sings and speaks that makes me feel so drenched with the goodness of God. Through his songs, my faith and confidence in a God who is Big, Strong and For Me is renewed. And there is this quiet, stillness I sense in him that invites me to gaze upon the beauty of Jesus again.

Tears just began welling up the minute I heard him sing. But those tears were not those of despair nor misery. I can’t quite begin to describe them fully except to say that I was enraptured by the beauty and purity and kindness of God. Wendy later said that it was good for me to be reminded of God’s love for me. But I don’t think it was a reminder at all. I think it was a fresh revelation.

I mean I have always believed that God loves me. Jesus loves me. These words “I love you” from God I believed. But hearing these words from God , “I am IN love with you” made me stop.
God is IN love with me? Why? Why would God be in love with me? Perhaps there is no distinction between the phrases ‘I love you’ and ‘I am in love with you’. But on Sunday, there was. They made me wonder, ‘God – the creator of the entire universe and all things beautiful – is in love with me. What does He love about me?’

It reminded me so much of how it is like between Roy and I. Even though we have had years of friendship and courtship between us, I often like to ask him the same question ‘What do you love about me?’ And his answer would often infuriate me – “I love you because you are you.” “What do you mean?” I would cry. I could not accept that he could just love me for NO reason except that I was who I am. “What was it about me that you love? Surely there must something specific you can name that you love about me?” I would badger on hoping to find an answer. On hindsight, I felt I needed him to give me specifics about what I did or my personality or my character before I could believe he really loves me and that he is not in love with his ideal of me. However, pure love is not conditional and not determined a person’s behaviour. Thank God!

With God, I realise that His love for me is unconditional and is not based on what I am capable of or my track record. He just loves me because I was His idea. He just loves me. It is a fact that still blows me away, and I can’t say I have fully grasped it. And I know that is why He has blessed me with such a wonderful friend, confidant and companion in Roy. Through Roy, I have been catching glimpses of what unconditional love means. Thank you honey for teaching me how to love, how to trust and how to have faith. Thank for loving me with the ‘agapou’ love.

And as I end off, I would like to leave you with the song from Bob Fitts’ new album, restore. This is the song that made me stop and ponder , ‘God, are you sure you are in love with me? Why?’. I pray that as you read this lyrics, you will allow yourself to be told by God again just how much He loves you.

In Love With You

http://www.bobfitts.com/

Spirit whisper sweetly now

I hear You in this quiet hour

Humbled by Your tender power

You embrace me

Constant as the morning breaks

Endless never-changing grace

Words that sin cannot erase

You say them still

I am in love with you

I am in love with you

How Your tender heart must break

When perfect love is turned away

But words of mercy never fade

I forgive you

Restoring love that never ends

A brand new day just now begins

Reaching for my long best friend

You embrace me

I am in love with you
I am in love with you

Your precious Son

His perfect blood

This costly way

He died to save

He rose to say

I am in love with you
I am in love with you