Sleep Camp: Update

Training Routine

Here’s a brief outline of what I started doing to help Elisha develop a regular nap routine as well as training him to fall asleep independently:

• Off to Bed 1.5 hours after being awake, regardless of whether he is tired
• Side-Coaching: This includes explaining to him what he is feeling, why he needs to rest. A sample script : “I know you’re tired. It’s alright to be tired. There’s no need to cry.You just need to close your eyes. You’re crying because being tired is not a good feeling. I understand. Just close your eyes, relax and drift to dreamland. You will wake up with more energy. We will play and learn together when you wake. “
• Play white noise and a rattle
• Minimal carrying, rocking and patting
• Encouraging him to listen to his body cues e.g. “You’re yawning because you are tired. Your brain needs to rest.”
• If he cries badly, I pick him up and give him a tight 8-second hug him and affirm his ability in learning to fall asleep.

Progress Update

I am so proud of how far Elisha has grown in the area of sleep! Here’s why:

• 4 day naps established: Elisha took 3 days to adapt to this schedule.  Each nap lasts 45 minutes on average. They tend to be 15 to 30 minutes longer if we’re out for a walk.

• Less Tears When Tired: He hardly cries now when he is tired and needs to sleep. At today’s late afternoon nap, he cried for a mere 30 seconds. I picked him up for a hug, and he cried for another 15 minutes. When his eyelids began to droop, I laid him back onto his bed, and he soon fell aslep.

• Less dependence on being carried or rocked or patted: At this evening’s bedtime, he just stared dreamily at his teddy mobile before drifting off to dreamland. I didn’t have to carry or pat him. I didn’t hold his hands either.  He woke up a little after but that I think is because I turned him onto his tummy prematurely.

What’s Worked

• The Use of Affirming Sentences: I believe using positives like ‘ You are a gentle and considerate baby. You like to sleep.’ helps influence his behaviour more effectively than using ‘Don’t’ s and ‘No’s.
  
• Power of the 8-second Hug: This helps to calm and settle him quickly. I just hold him really tight and tell him how much I love him, and how proud I am of him learning to fall asleep independently.
  

Reflections

When I saw Elisha smiling in his sleep as he was entering his sleep cycle, I was so glad I didn’t continue with the ‘Cry-It-Out’ method on him. I think the methods I’m trying out with him are more gentle and suited for his temperament. I’m even tempted to conclude that CIO is an unnecessary alternative in sleep training because there can be gentler means. I’m even thinking that the ‘No-Tears’ method does not wear the parent thin and create a demand-monster out of our children as its critics have stated.

Of course, every method has its supporters and detractors. Ultimately, it is the parents’ individual decision to choose one that best suits their parenting style and children.For me, I’m sticking to methods that are gentle on the spirit of both parent and child.

Sticky Bear Baby & Tree Trunk Mama

I’m fast becoming a tree trunk in more ways than one.

For starters, my torso has become the favourite reclining place for my little darling. Slung around me in my trusty sarong sling, it is where he calms down and falls asleep. He’s already 12weeks and 5days old. I still don’t see him learning to fall asleep independently.From what I’ve gleaned from reading expert advice, I’ve tried to train him to fall asleep on his own.  I’ve tried to put him down when he’s sleepy but he awakes immediately and bawls till he turns into one silent screamer.  When he does, I worry about causing him distress and teaching him distrust instead of trust. So in he pops into the ‘auto shut-up sloth machine’. After several seconds, he shuts up.  Then when he finally slips into that sweet state of sleep, I am almost too afraid to put him down for fear of waking him up and having to deal with his tears, again.

What do I do? I end up busying myself with household chores and meals with him plastered on me. This then leads me to the next reason why I’m getting close to looking like a tree trunk. Eating decently has become a personal challenge. I’ve only successfully managed to cook three meals for myself since I started looking after him on my own. Most times, I’ve been stuffing my face with the most accessible but least healthy of foods – cereal bars , chips, chocolate. Plus, it’s no easy feat trying to NOT drop crumbs or spill hot soup onto an infant strapped so closely to my mouth. ( I shan’t say just how many times I’ve picked a flaky piece off his scalp thinking that it’s cradle cap only to find it’s only my breakfast.) I’ve also been nursing this horrid craving for sugar.  My post-natal tummy looks bigger than it did after I gave birth. Sigh.

So here you have a Sticky Bear Baby and me, a Tree Trunk Mama. I’ve got a long way and many calories to go before I’ll ever reach a Yummy Mummy status.