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A Parent’s PrayerAnonymous
Help me give my children the best not of trappings or toys,
but of myself, cherishing them on good days and bad,
theirs and mine.
Teach me to accept them for who they are, not for what they do;
to listen to what they say, if only so they will listen to me;
to encourage their goals, not mine;
and please, let me laugh with them and be silly.
Let me give them a home where respect is the cornerstone,
integrity the foundation,
and there is enough happiness to raise the roof.
May I give them the courage to be true to themselves;
the independence to take care of themselves
and the faith to believe in a power much greater than their own.
See that I discipline my children without demeaning them,
demand good manners without forgetting my own
and let them know they have limitless love,
no matter what they do.
Let me feed them properly, clothe them adequately and have enough to give
them small allowances…
not for the work they do but the pleasure they bring…
and let me be moderate in all these things,
so the joy of getting will help them discover the joy of giving.
This is an elegant summary of what we hope to be able to provide all of our children.
We know we will not be perfect parents, but we will do our best to be praying parents.
We may not be wealthy, but we will always remember that we are rich. Because being rich is a state of mind. We will do our best to always point our children to be aware and thankful of all the good things we have rather than what we or they have not.
Sleepless attacks have returned again. For the past week or so, I haven’t been having the problem of disrupted night-time sleep until early this morning. I woke up at half past 1 in the morning to go to the toilet. When I returned to bed, I curled myself up against the nice, warm bed only to find sleep eluding me – again!
No sooner had I laid back on the bed, I felt two sharp jabs on my left abdominal wall. Elisha was awake! Oh dear! I quickly whispered to him that it was way past both our bedtimes, so won’t he please be good and go back to sleep so I could sleep too. And being the darling he is, his kicks eased into a gentle rolling in my tummy and I couldn’t feel him again. Baby Elisha was now asleep and what was his mummy doing?
Wide-eyed in bed. Mind racing. Random thoughts filtering in and out of my hazy sleep-deprived brain. Sometime in the midst of my semi-conscious state, I began to feel my tummy rumble. I tried to dismiss it by concentrating on getting my sleep. I refused to wake anymore muscles in my tired body. Alas! That did not work. When I finally decided to get out of bed to appease my appetite monster, I glanced at the clock. Horror of horrors!I was shocked that I had already stayed up for the good part of the entire wee hours! It was 4.40am when I went to fetch myself a snack of hot Milo and a SoyJoy raisin almond bar.
Argh! Fortunately, the warm drink and snack seem to work their magic and I was soon snoozing away soundly. I didn’t stir much for the rest of my sleep except to mutter an incoherent ‘goodbye’ to Roy when he left for work. However, I can feel the toll of the night’s disruption to my sleep cycle. I hope I can catch a good nap later in the afternoon before I get up to prepare dinner.
I just learned two new words – Inee and Outee – from my free weekly newsletter from Pregnancy Weekly. They are nouns used to describe the appearance of a belly button. An inee is a belly button that is inverted. An outee is its converse.
My belly button has been feeling rather taut and sometimes, sore, after a full meal. For a while, I was a bit concerned about what was happening to my belly button. But now, I feel so much better knowing that it is all part and parcel of pregnancy. The growing uterus presses against the belly button, making it pop out. So, my belly button is just on its way of becoming an outee. As far as I can see, it’s quarter-way there!
Our baby’s name, Elisha, has been inspired by a dream and three promises from God. But first, what does it mean?
Elisha: Its Biblical Significance
Elisha, pronounced Ee-LYE-Sher, is a Hebrew name that means ‘God is my salvation’. Elisha was a prophet of God in Old Testament Times. He was a faithful attendant to his master, the prophet Elijah. Before Elijah was taken up to heaven, Elisha asked for a double portion of his master’s spirit and he received from God. Elisha is said to be an even-tempered man, and his ministry a type of Jesus – one marked with mercy, and miracles accessible to common folk. So it is our hope and prayer that our son will be deeply filled with the Holy Spirit and be a minister of God’s compassion, grace and healing to all he meets.
Why Elisha?
Now, to explain the choice for our baby’s name properly, I have to skip back in time to late July 2007.
We were expecting our first child then. His name was Jaeden which means ‘The Lord has heard’. Jaeden probably went home to heaven when he was about 7 weeks old. We didn’t miss him till he was 10 weeks old. However, the strangest thing then was that I had a dream. I dreamt that I had two children – a boy of 4 or 5, and a nursing girl of 2. When I woke up from that dream, I told Roy that it was God’s way of reassuring me that I would not miscarry Jaeden. However, that was not so. In hindsight, I think it was God’s way of telling me that I would have children because the dream came after Jaeden had already left.
First, a dream…
It was a powerful dream. In that dream, I saw our son rushing forward to Pastor Raymond of Emmanuel AoG who had injured his back and was bent over in pain. The minute the little boy laid his hands on Pst Raymond, he was well again. The dream gave me two insights: (1) My eldest child would be a boy. (2) He would be God’s vessel of His healing grace.
Then, a word…
Of course, after I realised that Jaeden was gone on August 18, I felt the pain bitterly as I did not understand why I would have had such dream and still have my baby die. However, God , ever the compassionate Father, gave His comfort through my husband and a dear friend, Serena Koh-Lo. In a short span of 3 days after I had the D&C operation, both Roy and Serena told me separately that I would have a child again, and that child would have the double portion anointing. It was still difficult for me to receive this promise that I would have another child.
More reassurances…
On September 13, my soul and hope for a child was revived. I went for a bible study session at New Creation Church. The main thrust of that day’s teaching was about the Jubilee, with nothing to do with fertility or children. However, as Pastor Prince was expounding on the differences between commanded blessings and blessings received by faith, he made mention of how Elisha commanded the blessing of a son upon a Shunammite woman in 2 Kings 4:11-17. When Elisha called her and told her, “About this time next year, you will hold a son in your arms.” Her response was faithless. She had actually objected. “No, my lord. Don’t mislead your servant, O man of God!” Despite her faithlessness, she became pregnant and gave birth at about the same time the following year as Elisha had said. My first reaction was that I was as faithfless as that Shunammite woman. But if God did it for her, He could, and would, do it for me too. “God, help me in my unbelief!”
I walked out of that service and called Roy immediately. I told him, ” I am certain that we will have a son by this time next year because God told me so during the service.” Indeed, if you stop to check the calendar, this baby will arrive at about the same time this September. Isn’t God awesome?
Unfolding miracles…
This pregnancy has also been marked with physical threats of miscarriage. Actually, more than the previous one. These are quickly quelled by the reading of His Word as well as His promise to me at the year-end service at NCC. God had distinctly said to me, “I hurt when you hurt. That miscarriage was one too too many.” I know He will not let me lose this child again. Fears of abnormal foetal development have also assailed me. However, I know it never matters how I feel. What matters is the kind of God and Father He is. So I know that without a doubt, just as I’ve received this child in my womb, that He too will continue to perfect the growth of this baby.
To God be the glory; Great things has He done and continues to do!
Baby naming is tedious process. One soon realises that naming a new human is a weighty responsibility. You cannot apply the same principles of youthful pretending involving inanimate dolls or adorable pets to baby human naming. While we want a name as unique and precious as our child, we have many factors to consider.
Choosing a name based on its mere virtue of how nice it sounds would be too superficial. Often, names have a powerful way of evoking allusions to particular personalities and characters. Haven’t you noticed how a name can remind you of a certain personality or character type? Our experiences and perceptions all shape our preferences and attitudes towards names.
Other than ensuring that the chosen name registers positively with our memories, some like us would also want the name to have significance and meaning. Here, historical,spiritual social and media personalities come into play. The devoutly spiritual name their offspring after significant spiritual figures. Literary lovers take inspiration from the names of their favourite wordsmiths. Larger-than-life media personalities can also dictate naming trends with people naming their children after them or creating new names with their wacky choices of Apple, Pilot Inspektor, Free, Moonblood.
We have to ensure that our baby’s special name is easily pronounced. For the rest of the child’s life, he would have to constantly face communication challenges of teaching or correcting others on their pronunciation or spelling of his name and may even have to attempting to clear up mistaken identities. I know this first-hand even though my name ‘Sarah’ is plain and simple enough. Other than having been called the variations of ‘SAH-RAH’, ‘SHA-RAH’, ‘SHER-RAH’ and ‘SA-LAH’, I have also been known as ‘Cheryl’ and ‘Sharon’. Sometimes I even come to doubt my own speech abilities, and there have been several frustrated exchanges with service staff.
A name easily pronounced is not it. It must also be as nickname-proofed as possible. We cannot protect our child from name teasing and taunting, but neither should we give him a name that would make him an easy target for it. Haven’t you met some of those people caught in this unfortunate circumstance before? Of course, some of them are self-imposed. Here are some real-life examples:
- ‘Chee Hong’ – awkwardly vulgar in Hokkien which roughly translates to ‘being a skirt-chaser’, and this is putting it mildly.
- A donut shop assistant named ‘Creamy’.
- A girl named ‘Horny’. No kidding! This was the name of my ex-housemate’s uni mate. Imagine her introducing herself: “Hi! I’m Horny.”
As Chinese Asians, we also have to ensure that the given name goes well with the surname. Roy’s name is ‘Lee’. Imagine if we name our child any of the following: Harry Lee, Phil Lee, Carl Lee. Say them loud and fast enough and they can sound rather ridiculous. Here are some other amusing examples (no offense nor distress intended to any person/s living or dead with the same names):
- Grant Ma – Meet ‘grandma’
- Mick Ee – Hey ‘Mickey’, you’re so fine!
- Mia Loh – Milo: The drink of champions!
- Ben Toh – Japanese ‘bento’ lunch special, you like?
The greatest bug bear of all for me is how so many of the boys’ names have been overtaken by the girls. Did you know that many of the now common female names were once the domain of males ? These include: Ashley, Addison, Eden, Tracy, Shannon, Whitney. And yes, even my baby boy’s name, Elisha, has been taken over by the girls. Admittedly, I was rather exasperated when I had several people ask me if I was having a girl. But thank God for friends who help put things into perspective. Like one of them said, “Elisha is a male name. And you’ve got to really ask what these girls are doing with a male name.” That made me feel tons better along with hearing that Roy’s alpha-male friends having positive comments about the name. If the masculines don’t think it sissy, I should really not worry about the name bearing any possible effeminate connotations.
My baby-naming journey is almost mid-way through with the Christian name being decided upon. Now, we just have to think about his Chinese name. Another ball game altogether, I’m sure!
I tried to post the scan videos of baby that day but it didn’t work because the file was too large. Until I figure that out, I shan’t describe the ecstasy of seeing a tiny human being do flips and turns inside me just yet.
Instead, let me share with you some pictures Roy and I took together recently. On Sunday, 13 April, we caught up with my long-lost friends from Melbourne Uni OCF (Overseas Christian Fellowship) and did a bit of sightseeing. Here are some of our pictures together, and might I also mention too that they are our first proper together photos in Macau! See if you can spot my 17+weeks-old baby belly!
Taken in the garden around the Old Taipa Buildings Museum area.
A pretty nice spot of dreamy conifers ( at least that is what I think those trees are…). Faye was the ‘artistic director’ of this shot. She thought it would be a great way to show off my baby belly. She even told Roy where to place his hands. Haha! Thanks, Faye!
Reclining comfortably on the busy steps leading up to the famous St Paul’s Ruins.
My last gynae visit was on the 7th of April, Monday. It was another amazing experience!
We spotted baby’s gender – it’s a boy! – and saw the little one twist, squirm and sommersault in every way possible. It was really quite a thrill to see those the little bones structured together as hands, limbs, ribs and spine. His daddy says that his junior is of course a little acrobat in the making because he is working in a circus. Well, we’ll see.
It's A Boy!
Meanwhile, here are the videos from the scans done on Monday. See if you can spot the tell-tale sign of Baby’s gender!
I wish my baby belly was more prominent.
I wish I looked more visibly pregnant.
I wish I could feel Baby kick and wiggle inside me already.
I wish I looked more visibly pregnant.
I wish I could feel Baby kick and wiggle inside me already.
My wishes for a more prominent pregnant tummy may sound strange.
But you know, I do enjoy this belly ballooning process.
Never have I felt so liberated to enjoy this shape-changing, weight-gaining process.
I am thankful that I haven’t lost my waistline yet. My arms are still relatively slim. My chest is getting fuller as are my hips. Some rounding up of my previously flat bum. These all add up to a more shapely figure, and I am secretly happy with my figure now.
So in my opinion, I think my figure now is even better than before I was pregnant.
I mean, before I was pregnant, I had ’spare tyres’ of blubber sitting about my waist. What excuse had I except poor diet and non-existent exercise?
Now the blubber store is pretty much still there but thanks to the growing baby in the uterus, that blubber has been more evenly distributed. No more jiggly belly parts, just one nice rounded bump. And no one can call me ‘fat’ right now, can they?
I’m growing a baby inside me so it would just be plain rude if anyone dared call me fat.
Something else I just realised too about the beauty of being pregnant is that all the clothes that used to be a bit too unflattering on my flab now looks fabulous. They show off the curves in the right places.
So truly, I’ve been yet enlighted about another wonderful aspect of being pregnant.
All preggies belly up! ‘Cos your baby belly transforms your body from FLAB to FABULOUS!
Yes, a potential slogan for a ‘Have more babies’ campaingn in this ‘Yummy Mummy’ crazy world, don’t you think?
‘Bu’ – a Chinese word that means ‘to nourish’.
I am so pleased with myself. I successfully brewed a nice pot of hashima at home! I was amazed at how a little pinch of the sweet smelling dehydrated lumps became large gelatinous gobs covering half the soup pot.
Hashima are secretions derived from a wood frog’s fallopian tubes. It sounds rather appalling, doesn’t it? Well, I’m Chinese after all so it takes quite lot more than eating genetalia and the like to scare me off. It is suppposed to be good for the complexion as well as the lungs. It is supposed to have many vitamins and minerals that are beneficial to the baby. Hashima is really quite tasteless on its own so even though the thought of its origin might make you squirm, you would probably find it easy to swallow.
So my dearest baby, I hope you’ll enjoy the benefits of hashima too!
Thank God for husbands who are able to help wives keep perspective in an body-image-crazy world.
I especially love my husband because he thinks that the ‘Yummy Mummy’ craze is just plain ridiculous. And he would take the pains to highlight why to me. And he did it even before he would see his own wife begin to balloon with a baby.
Yesterday was the first time in this pregnancy I actually started feeling fat. When I told him so, he so very sincerely and sweetly said, “You’re not fat. You’re pregnant and you’re lovely.” Aww…
I love him so. We both can’t wait to meet each other next Friday in Macau. It would have been 3 months since we last saw each other. I could never imagine a guy being so excited about his wife putting on pounds and looking rounder. But well, I know my husband isn’t just any guy so that is why he is so eager to see my baby belly.
Thank you Father for my wonderful husband!
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